


that’s a sawn-off shotgun

by singlemalter



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Voyeurism, Watersports, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 09:36:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21072755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlemalter/pseuds/singlemalter
Summary: Alex, Daniel, Lando, a shiny new purchase and a foray into unknown territory.





	that’s a sawn-off shotgun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [untouchableocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableocean/gifts), [ricciardhoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ricciardhoes/gifts).

> Reeeeeeeeeead the taaaaaaaags.

Promises are meant to be kept, or so Lando’s learned in the past months at McLaren. His predicament is still jarring, though, and he shifts in his chunky heels, picking at the hem of his dress while Alex and Daniel size him up.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come,” Daniel says, steepling his fingers in consideration. He crosses and uncrosses his legs on the armchair. 

Lando frowns, his face weirdly stiff with light makeup. “Do I look that bad?” 

“You look great,” Daniel says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and a frisson of arousal shoots down Lando’s spine. “I mean, you look nervous, and I don’t want to… you know.”

“You’re not a bother,” Alex interrupts. Convincing Daniel that they genuinely want him here is an uphill battle; he’s a strong contender for most stubborn man Alex knows.

Daniel raises his hands, placating. “I’ll stay,” he says. “I want to be here, as long as he’s okay with it.”

“I am,” Lando says. He looks down, inspecting the strangely comfortable dress they’d picked up in Shibuya. That had been a trip and a half—Charlotte still doesn’t know what had been in the gaudy white bag, and Lando prays she never finds out. He’d gotten a pair of high heels, too, large enough to actually walk on without tripping, much to the chagrin of Alex’s boring jokes about his height. 

Excitement and anxiety alike coil in Lando’s gut. Once he kneels, the carpet is rough even through the plastic mat and his over the knee socks, and he glances around to calm himself down—except there are half a dozen empty bottles of water on the nightstand, right next to a messy pile of his actual clothes. Everything in the room is a reminder of what they’re about to do. 

“I’m ready,” says Lando, voice cracking.

It’s nothing like he expects it to be. Alex’s piss lands on him and he reflexively closes his eyes, but it only heightens the feeling of the hot liquid running down his jawline and on to his neck. His dress gets heavier with every second, clammy fabric clinging to his skin, until Alex shifts his hand slightly and the stream hits Lando’s mouth instead. His first instinct is to flinch—the second is to part his lips, a slight bitter tang on his tongue, and he’s surprised at how watery it tastes.

Behind them, Daniel slides his shorts down, hand on his dick as he watches it all unfold before him. Lando has no idea why he gets off on this, on the knowledge that he’s being watched like this, dirty and probably wrong on so many levels, but he can’t stifle a soft gasp, mouth half-filled with salty urine.

It ends sooner than Lando (shamefully) wants it to, and he keeps his eyes shut even when Alex cups the side of his face, thumb rubbing small circles on his wet cheeks. “It’s alright,” he says. “Do you want to spit it out?”

Lando considers it for a second. Then he shakes his head no, swallowing before he can think any better.

“Fuck,” Daniel groans, and Lando flushes red with something bizarrely like pride. 

“Get him off,” Alex tells Lando. He nods towards Daniel, who’s palming his own cock through his tented boxers.

Lando sidles up to Daniel, settling between his spread legs with a shy smile, Alex’s piss still on his cheeks as he bats his eyelashes, wide-eyed and full of wonder. He reckons he makes an appealing picture; he’s not as feminine or sexy as he’d like to be, but it does the job well enough, apparently.

“Oh, _fuck_,” Daniel says again, husky and deep in his throat, his dick painfully hard as he jerks himself off with long, slow strokes. He keeps his eyes on Lando, just below his collarbone, where the pretty pink chiffon is still damp and dripping on to the floor. “The two of you, holy—”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he orgasms, thick spurts under Lando’s bright eyes. Alex helps him through it, covering Daniel’s hand with his own and milking him dry until he slumps backwards on to his seat.

Lando breaks the silence. “Fuck,” he says, laughing at the absurdity of the entire situation. God, he’s got Alex’s piss and Daniel’s come on him, completely debased on the eve of a race, and the only thing in his mind is that he wants to do it again. 

“Round two?” Daniel says eventually.

“If you can get it up, old man,” Alex teases. Daniel elbows his ribs—then he sets about proving his least-favourite youngsters wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _Suck it and See_ by Arctic Monkeys: “That’s not a skirt, girl, that’s a sawn-off shotgun, and I can only hope you’ve got it aimed at me.”
> 
> [This](https://lolibrary.org/items/btssb-baby-anniversary-op) is the dress Lando’s wearing.
> 
> Ugh. Am I really gonna plug myself on a piss kink fic? singlemalter on Tumblr.


End file.
